On being an encourager

You know those people who always leave you feeling better every time you talk to them? They seem to know just what to say to let you know you're loved and you're worth something; they give you confidence, hope and courage to face your day. How did these people get to be like that? Were they born this way or did they learn to become who they are? In other words, does encouragement come naturally or is it something you have to work at? Maybe it's both? I'm not sure; I just know I want to be more like one of them. My poor girlfriend is already well aware I'd rather point out the negative than praise the positive.
We discussed encouragement a few weeks ago at a Bible study. As people were noting character traits of truly encouraging people they know, I realized they were listing the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) almost word for word: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Now that caught my interest. Does that mean that I, who claim to be a Christian living by the Spirit of God, should be a natural encourager already? Well I'm not, so ouch.
In that dialogue, we also noted the absence of a character trait in encouragers - the trait that C.S. Lewis detests the most - pride. A truly encouraging person is a humble person. Proud people can't see past themselves (whether they like what they see notwithstanding) to find the beauty in others. I'm not talking about simply the capacity to see the good things but rather to appreciate others for who they are without dwelling on how that reflects on yourself, i.e. selfish jealousy. Thinking about this, I realize I've hurt a lot of wonderful people by learning to dislike them for being able do something I can't do equally well, if even at all! How awful is that - being nasty to someone because of their good qualities?! Talk about skewed thinking; if we were all the same what would make any of us special? Our different strengths need to be celebrated, not envied!
So how can I get rid of my pride? That's where God's ways are not my ways because I can't! If I could then that would be a source of pride in and of itself. God can change me at the core of my being but I must make myself available to Him first. I am the hard ground that can't grow any life until it's been broken up, seeded and watered. Like that quote from Isaiah I mentioned last week, water doesn't return to the sky without making the earth flourish first. So this is my prayer: to love people simply for who they are. Please forgive me if my selfishness has ever hurt you. There's no need to compare your gifts to those of others. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. There is Someone who loves you literally more than life itself. That Person has given you special gifts that are part of who you are - take joy in using them!